Forever and Never

Leaving for the States in less than 24 hours now. At the very least, I'm done packing after much procrastination and an earful of nagging from my mum that ultimately fell on deaf ears. Heh. What's left to do is of course, being typically Malaysian, some last minute shopping later today—12 hours prior to leaving. *Pats self on the back.*

Anyway, I just wanted to wish everyone well and a happy new year! It won't be long before 2010 rolls in and I'm excited! Somewhat. Ironically, I can't wait to come home from the States already. There are just too many things I'm going to miss. Firstly, my family. Secondly, my friends. Thirdly, being PRESS. Hee. But that said, there are many things I'd love to see in the States as well and visiting a different country is always eye opening and soul enriching. Oh god, mixed emotions, how I loathe them.

Ah...but then again I'm not leaving, I'm not going away, I'm merely just...journeying. ;)

So...

[WATCH]
[THIS]
[SPACE]

for my, more likely than not, delayed 'Updates from the States'!

Peace & love,
Ju

Bad X'mas Party

I hosted a X'mas party last night, even made a lil speech which no one took seriously. Pfft.

Anyway, if there's one thing I learnt from last night's party, never theme your party "BAD" cause something is bound to go seriously...BAD. Like car roof crack bad. Huhu.

But aside from the unfortunate car mishap, everyone who came made the X'mas party really BAD ass! Rawr! And I trust everyone had a really good time. I hope. ;)

Special phrases for the night (as summed up by Mei Vern):

• forever and ever
• rar-rar-rar-ah-ah...
• "have fun"
• osama
• lick/suck
• FML/FMLT/OMG/WTF
• MONASH
• CRACK!

Merry X'mas!

Xoxo,
My name is JU. And YOU...were at my HAUS!

No Vowels Day

In honour of Vowels and all that they've done to enable us to assemble words, today will be declared No Vowels Day as we grant them a day off.

*Update: This post should have actually been like this:

n hnr f Vwls nd ll tht thy'v dn t nbl s t ssmbl wrds, tdy wll b dclrd N Vwls Dy s w grnt thm _ dy ff.

But I didn't think anyone would be able to understand.

The City Lights

If you see me at midnight
Walking the streets
You'll know it's me for I cannot sleep
I've pushed away the dreams
And spoiled the quiet
I'm propelled by fear
And not the righteous

So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
The fever is near
I wish you were here

I'm thinking ambitious
I've got this feeling things will be alright
So go break a leg now
Been given the green light
So go entertain them
They're waiting for you
They're waiting for you

So have you been to a place like this?
To see your breath as it paints against the sky
Feeling so right and things will run
The fever is near
I wish you were here

Write Art

I am an artist.

That's what I see myself as. What I think , what I say, what I write, I do it imaginatively.

I am an artist.

It's what I know to be. What I think, what I say, what I write, I do it inspiringly.

I am an artist.

What I think, what I say, what I write—everything—is creatively thought, methodically processed.

I am an artist.

And I can never be truly satisfied.

Because it's who I am.

I am...an artist.

A Man of Words and Not Deeds

A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds
And when the weeds begin to grow
It's like a garden full of snow
And when the snow begins to fall
It's like a bird upon the wall
And when the bird away does fly
It's like an eagle in the sky
And when the sky begins to roar
It's like a lion at the door
And when the door begins to crack
It's like a stick across your back
And when your back begins to smart
It's like a penknife in your heart
And when your heart begins to bleed
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.

Meet-Cute

sitting down
looking up
zoning out
getting bored

he walked out
towards me
sheepish smile
geeky grin
asked

talked
laughed
delight
shared
joy
exchanged
names
a handshake
goodbye
wave
and smile

wondered...
will we meet-cute again?

The Undomestic Lady

So I had set out to cook sun-dried tomato pasta today only to fail to find the main ingredient. On top of that, I got lost in Giant. AND...I spotted 3 small cockroaches. UGH. That's more than enough reminders in a day as to why I don't do grocery shopping.

Yes, it does seem "almost" ridiculous that I'm even using a trolley.

Anyway, until I manage to find sun-dried tomatoes, my domestication shall be put on hold. Oh, only quite happy to, if I should add. =)

On The Run

Catch me if you can.

Find Your Jesus · Find Your Kubrick

...cause in you I've found my freedom.

Not Ever Again

Oh the twisted tales they tell
The words they fail to spell
The vicious lies they spread
Losing myself I slowly dread

Half believing yet not buying
Those fabrication of the truth
They make my heart turn bad
Turning me into a sleuth

Like straw spun to gold
I don't know how they do
My words became cold
But only towards you

You bring out the horror in me
One I hate to see
You've pushed me to my tipping point
Oh how you've disappoint

With my dignity still in tact
We will never go back
Your shallow thoughts and uncouth ways
You will forever have to pay

Ironically I must say
Much I have learnt
About your gay ways to your current
But I will never be led astray

Not ever again.

My Mind's Made Up

Ifyoureallymustknow,Ihaveyoutwirledaroundmyfinger,playingyoulikehowIplayfbpoker.Withoutasinglecarefortheworld.Becauselikefbpokerchips,youareasfakeastheyfeel.Whatapity.Whatashame.Andyouthoughtyouhadeverythingallfiguredout.*Scoffs*Pusspuss.

Awake at 3

I was in bed by 10.37pm. Read a few pages of 'The White Tiger' before my eyes grew tired and I was fast asleep by 11.43pm. I did not look at the time, so perhaps it could have been 11.33pm or 11.53pm, but it was definitely before midnight. That, I am sure of.

3 hours 36 minutes and 3 mosquito bites later, here I am. Wide awake. At a time where most people my age have not even gone to bed yet, I have just awoken. Awakened, to be precise. At a time like this, it does not pay to save the environment cause now I rue the mistake of not turning on the air cond earlier. The cold air could have prevented those mosquito bites, and well, I could still be asleep. Oh, if only.

I get that my posts this year have been thin on the ground, but it takes an effort for me to write about something, or let alone anything. I need to feel the passion. I need to be inspired. I need to be affected.

See, if only I was A political writer, I would have too much to write about, it might border on spam. Thankfully but perhaps unfortunately, I am pretty apolitical. They say it is hard to be apolitical in this country, but I say, anything is possible. Hah. No, I kid, but only about the latter cause I am honestly not very affected by the politics that go on in this country. Every day, political news headline our local newspapers and after 365 days of reading the same headlines, or a variety of them, you become immune. Like the row of advertisement boards lined up on both sides of the road to KLIA, do you actually take note of them still...or did you ever? I am apolitical, but only because I feel we have no voice. A squeak, maybe. Not a voice, especially given the latest unrest in our political party.

They say we are the movers and shakers. They say we are the leaders of tomorrow. They say we are the future generation. But how can we possibly be when there seems to lie no path of the future. Can we really trust anything they say in this country? Or maybe I need an interpretor to comprehend the impartial and unprejudiced policies, the fair and unbiased budget plans, the competent and efficient constituency. Or maybe I just need the 'M****sian Politics for Dummies' book.

3 Prime Ministers later and I have witness change. Change that is hard to ignore even if you were blind...or apolitical. But are they for the better?

Let me finish reading the book and then I will let you know.

Andre Fagassi

If you want to continue being in the limelight, keep playing tennis, do some charity work or maybe start your own wig line. Not write a book and reveal a lifetime of lies.

From hero to zero.

Luck & Intuition

I knew it was going to be a good day when we managed to find parking just round the bend of the US Embassy.

I knew it was going to be a good day when we spotted our agent’s car.

I knew it was going to be a good day when Roz nearly slipped on the mossy pavement. Hohoho. Just kidding.

I knew it was going to be a good day when the metal detectors didn’t sound when we walked through them.

I knew it was going to be a great day when the pigeon hole to store our belongings was No. 28!

I knew it was going to be a great day when the time printed on our ticket number showed 8:28am!

I knew it was going to be a good day when we waited at most only 28 minutes before our numbers were called to go into the next room.

I knew it was going to be a good day when we didn’t get Counter 3.

I knew it was going to be a good day when we got Counter 6.

I knew it was going to be a good day when we got a male interviewer.

I knew it was going to be a good day when Roz turned around to give me a smirk before the end of her interview.

I knew it was going to be a great day when the interviewer started typing away before he questioned me.

I knew it was going to be a greater day when Gerry (our interviewer) chopped my visa application form.

Because as it turned out, it was indeed a glorious day as our visas were approved!

Now here's to...
♥ ♥

Imagine ☮

She is simply merveilleux. I imagine John Lennon would be proud of this cover. Personally, I felt she did the song justice, and for a great cause too. And I think it's a great homage to the legendary and most talented Beatle.

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
And only Matthew in the sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today 

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace 

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day that you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

People of the nation
Are you listening
It isn't equal if it's sometimes
I want a real democracy
Imagine all the people
Could love equally

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
Just a brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

With nothing to hate
Nothing to think
Just people in love and
Friends to heartbreaks 

You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day that you’ll join us
And the world will live as one

Live. Life. Love.

Oh...it's that time of the year again, and hopefully, it'll be the last of it. No, I'm not talking about my period. Nor am I menopausal. I'm talking about the dreaded examination period. Loathe it, loathe it, loathe it! Hate the stress it brings. Hate the chilly late nights in the library it puts me through. Oh for ***'s sake, what's there to like?? I digress.

What I actually really (Is one of the words redundant? Heh.) wanted to say is...we can't like everything about everyone. Because you and me, we are the same. Human on the outside, broken on the inside. We are all running the rat race, racing...wanting...hoping, to get fixed. And sometimes, we get so caught up in this endless, self-defeating, pointless pursuit of wealth, prestige and power, we soon start to forget...about the things that bring us tears, and the things that bring us fears; about the things that bring us joy, and the things that keep us coy. We forget about the people we care. We forget about the people we have. We forget about the people we love. We simply forget.

But in simply forgetting, we will come to realise, it is the people we are blessed to have in our lives and the ones we have chosen to keep that make us whole, that make us beautiful, that make our lives, worth living.

La vita è bella.

So, memento vivere.

☮

For Simply Existing

I haven't been updating my blog, but it is with good reason.

I haven't been inspired.

***

Life, which I have imagined to be a cup of vanilla ice cream with chunks of Oreo cookie, and semisweet chocolate chip cookie dough, and pecan nuts, with a twirl of caramel. Life, which I have pictured to be deck chairs lying on a beach, on an endless stretch of white smooth sand, looking out into a sea of clear blue waters, with gentle waves beating the shore at rhythmic intervals. Life, which I have thought so beautiful, has not been a pretty picture of late. No, it isn't my own life, but rather, the life of others around me, which I am fortunately, or unfortunately apart of; the life of others around me that have painted clouds of grey and waves of violence on my picture of Life. My Life. Tainted.

I have come to conclude, after careful observation, that people (Perhaps I am being too general. And perhaps, even a little too kind.) of late of our generation of my generation have pretty loose moral values, or none of them. A dreadful living society my generation has become. Tragic, to be more precise. It is a living society that is filthy and unhealthy. A living society that I am disgusted of and revolted by, for haplessly being in its presence; for ill-fatedly existing in this lifetime. Oh, fml.

Being a Christian once before, it would be so easy to blame the institution of the church, or religion in general, for the "deterioration" of people, especially having had a personal encounter with one of those people before. A personal encounter that struck a chord, deep within my core. It is them I blame for my lost of faith in Christianity. Them, who attend church and still find it in themselves to commit acts of loose morals. Them, who attend church only to tarnish its reputation it has spent an eternity building. Them, are people not fit to be called humans. I am harsh and yet I am no saint. But at least, I do not disguise the fact that I am not one for I am not a hypocrite.

And I would hate to have to ever meet one of them ever again.

Or maybe, just maybe, I already am in the presence of them for simply, just simply...existing.

At You I Sigh

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all that we will know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you and I sigh.
~William Butler Yeats

No Reply

Nothing irks me more than non-replies.

Where is the fucking courtesy in people these days??

The fact that people feel reluctant to call/text others on a different telco line from them is just pathetic and cheapskate.

To think people would rather stinge on 15 cents (or even 5 fucking cents) than reply a text pisses me off. Actually, it makes me really sad knowing that I'm not even worth 5/15 cents. And omg, we're speaking in terms of Ringgit Malaysia! Geezus Christ!

Fuck calls/texts. Even emails. Emails that don't even cost a cent to send (pun not intended), and people can't even make a bloody effort to reply.

Oh just ftw.

Fight Club

Am I suppose to fight the fight?

After all, how much can I know about myself if I've never been in a fight?

I Wanna Take A Ride on Her Disco Stick!

Let's take a break from my personal ramblings and onto happier things.

For those who don't read my tweets or visit my facebook profile or give a damn, I still want you to know...

Moments to take note of: 5:47, 6:29 & 6:36

I'm the bitch who caught the stick.

=)

ELIMINATE

Do me a favour and push your own button.

Shakeable Foundation

I can't remember when it started,
or how it started or even why.
But it is now too obvious to remain oblivious,
or to even stay in denial.

'It' has been shaken, not stirred.
Shaken.

The space between us is filled
with cold air and awkwardness.

This was not what I foresaw.
This was not what I expected.
This was not what I intended.

But this is perhaps the final straw,
for it is time for me to quit hoping and just
...let go.

Cliché Much?

I can't do it. Not the second time around. So this is my temporary goodbye to you; and my apology. Because it's not you, it's me. JOMG. How cliché is that? But it's true. Heh.

Lenka's Show

So who's attending her show(case) later at 1 Utama?

I know I am.

♪ Cause I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
la la lala la la...la lala la la la la...
And I'll just see you there...... ♪

=)

Someone Told Me...

"Sex is like politics. You label yourself, republican, democrat; straight or gay. And then one day, you cross party lines because you have a strong feeling about a particular candidate, and then you don’t know what you are."

My Blueberry Nights

It was closing time. But there she stood, outside the café, looking dazed and feeling lost. She stood there for quite a while, before she walked in again. "I need someone to talk to," she said and sat down.

"Guess I'm just looking for a reason."

"Well, from my observations, sometimes it's better off not knowing.
And other times, there's no reason to be found."

"Everything has a reason."

"It's like these pies and cakes.
At the end of every night, the cheesecake and the apple pie are always completely gone.
The peach cobbler and the chocolate mousse cake are nearly finished.
But there's always a whole blueberry pie left untouched."

"So what's wrong with the blueberry pie?"

"There's nothing wrong with the blueberry pie.
It's just, people make other choices.
You can't blame the blueberry pie.
It's just no one wants it."

They wore the night out, eating the leftover pies. Him—probably an apple pie, and her—a blueberry pie with a scoop of ice-cream.

***

Watch the movie.

Before Twitter...

Before Twitter...
I had a blog.
I had a life.

After Twitter...
my blog nearly died,
and so did I.

Respect My Right

I am a private person.

I am not the type who washes my dirty laundry in public. I am not the type who hangs my undergarment on the balcony for the wandering eyes of passing drivers. (Not that I live in an apartment that faces the highway.) I am just not the type who discusses family matters to anyone or anywhere as I feel family matters are private matters. Although when asked, I would share. Nonetheless, not a topic I would use to start a conversation. But anyway, that's beside the point. The point is, I am a private person.

And most of the time, I do not probe into other people's life. What "people" choose to share with me, I accept and respect. When they choose to share their joy with me, I'd be thankful. When they choose to share their tears with me, I'd be honoured. When they choose to share their laughter with me, I'd be gleeful. When they choose to share their food with me, I'd be ecstatic! Okay, let's not deviate from the main topic.

The crux of the matter is (not sure where I'm going with this, but just stay with me), I am a private person and I want my privacy to be respected.

Speaking of respect, it's hard to get one from anybody these days. "People" hardly value other people's opinion. Everyone wants to make a point. Everyone wants to be heard. Everyone wants to be RIGHT. And of course, I don't exclude myself. I believe, everyone LIKES to be RIGHT. But when you're wrong, you're just...wrong.

There lies a difference between making a point with conviction and making a point with condemnation. Confidence versus arrogance. The line is fine, but it exists, and hence, should not be crossed. With that said, we are human and hardly any of us have self-actualised to be that selfless. We are all too consumed by our own needs and too self-absorbed to care for others. The fact is, WE are too egocentric to agree to disagree.

So I ask, how can the world ever be a better place?

Ode

by Arthur O'Shaughnessy, 1844–1881.

We are the music-makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.

With wonderful deathless ditties
We build up the world's great cities.
And out of a fabulous story
We fashion art empire's glory:
One man with a dream, at pleasure,
Shall go forth and conquer a crown;
And three with a new song's measure
Can trample in empire down.

We, in the ages lying
In the buried past of the earth,
Built Nineveh with our sighing,
And Babel itself with our mirth;
And o'erthrew them with prophesying
To the old of the new world's worth;
For each age is a dream that is dying,
Or one that is coming to birth.

Dead Poet

I'm bored with life.

I need new excitement.

I need new thrills.

Or perhaps, I just need a little taste of death.

After all, in the midst of death, we are in life.

I Actually Miss Writing

And I don't mean 140 characters long writing. Cause as much as I like twitting, a lot, I really do miss writing a little more than a few 140 characters long sentences to make up a paragraph.

Not being confined to a space of 140 characters gives me the abundance of writing freedom and creativity. To écrire (write). To scribble. To bs.

But like in all superhero movies, there's always an enemy, a villain that will get in the way. And for me, the only person standing between me and my writing is Procrastination. And occasionally Writer's Block. And I am equipped with only myself to fight them off, which is proving, as you can judge from the frequency and length of my published posts thus far, to not be very successful. Me, myself and I do not suffice. I am losing this epic battle and I need backup!!

The ease of twitting is making it very hard for me to swing back into my writing groove as twitting requires almost no effort or thinking. The only cognitive process that might take place when twitting is the time spent mulling over how to shrink your tweet when you've exceeded the character count.

But maybe, just maybe, I might have caught the writing wave again. And I'm gonna try to ride it for as long as I can without falling off my surfboard.

Peace!

p/s: I've always wanted to try surfing.

Meh

Blog resuscitation FAIL sial!

I Think It's About Time I Revive This Blog

It's amazing how Twitter has caught on. Almost revolutionary in fact.

What I find amazing and annoying about Twitter is its 140-character space limit. It keeps the gist and rids the jargon. Because sometimes, the trueness of things comes in the simplest forms of words like I love you. Or 'simply' put, I ♥ u. Or 'simpler' put, ily. But as Albert Einstien once said, everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler...because the simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, for both the body and the mind.

Lily Allen

Because she's starting to grow on me.

Are You Bovvered?

Anyone who loves the "Brit.ish" accent or "Brit.ish" humour will surely love this.



Hilarious, init??



She is well farny!!

How About This For An Album Title

Artist: Soulwax
Album title: Most of the remixes we've made for other people over the years except for the one for Einstürzende Neubauten because we lost it and a few we didn't think sounded good enough or just didn't fit in length-wise, but including some that are hard to find because either people forgot about them or simply because they haven't been released yet, a few we really love, one we think is just ok, some we did for free, some we did for money, some for ourselves without permission and some for friends as swaps but never on time and always at our studio in Ghent.

Or this...

Artist: Chumbawamba
Album title: The Boy Bands Have Won, and All The Copyists and The Tribute Bands and The TV Talent Show Producers Have Won, If We Allow Our Culture To Be Shaped By Mimicry, Whether From Lack Of Ideas Or From Exaggerated Respect. You Should Never Try To Freeze Culture. What You Can Do Is Recycle That Culture. Take Your Older Brother’s Hand-Me-Down Jacket and Re-Style It, Re-Fashion It to the Point Where It Becomes Your Own. But Don’t Just Regurgitate Creative History, Or Hold Art And Music And Literature As Fixed, Untouchable And Kept Under Glass. The People Who Try To ‘Guard’ Any Particular Form Of Music Are, Like The Copyists And Manufactured Bands, Doing It The Worst Disservice, Because The Only Thing That You Can Do To Music That Will Damage It Is Not Change It, Not Make It Your Own. Because Then It Dies, Then It’s Over, Then It’s Done, and The Boy Bands Have Won.

After over 700 characters of text and 150 over words, Chumbawamba were finally finished...and satisfied. After all, they are the current record holder of the longest title for a major label album. They must be proud.

Artist: George Clinton
Album title: Hey Man... Smell My Finger

"We'd rather not..." (NME, 2009)

Artist: Marnie Stern
Album title: This Is It and I Am It and You Are It and So Is That and He Is It and She Is It and It Is It and That Is That

Well, least it has a nice rhyme.

Artist: REO Speedwagon
Album title: You Can Tune a Piano but You Can't Tuna Fish

If I can't tuna fish, then I guess I'll just eat it.

Artist: Will Smith
Album title: Big Willie Style

"What was he trying to imply, exactly?" (NME, 2009)
Don't we all wonder...lol!

Artist: Leonard Cohen
Album title: Ten New Songs

"Laughing Len gets no marks for effort." (NME, 2009)

Artist: Nelly Furtado
Album title: Whoa, Nelly!

"Just makes us think of elephants on the loose." (NME, 2009)
They might have been making reference to Nellie the Elephant. Either way, it's hilarious!

These were some of the titles that made the list of '50 Worst Album Titles in History'. Any objections?

Too Wordy of Twitter

I was blaming my cousin for my indecisiveness—upon which she responded, '...we are so great at everything, that it is difficult to choose what to do!'

Hear, hear.

Monash Music Festival

COME

cause I'll be there.

:)

p/s: For more details, click on the smiley. Or you can just ask me.

And tomorrow never came...

I promise you
an update
tomorrow
so don't hate

Genesis Chapter 1

¹ In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

² The earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

³ Then God said, “Let there be light”; and there was light.

It's almost like magic. Don't you think?

Incommunicado

I texted my dad in the afternoon asking him if he'd be going to the club (No, not a night club.) cause I was itching to play 'ping pong'.

He replied 45 minutes later with a text that read: "Daddy in Saudi". (Hey, that rhymes!)

If there's one word to describe my family, it's 'dysfunctional'.

It's Earth Hour

Turn off your lights
and
save the earth.

Make the world a better place,
for you and for me.

:)

Quickie

My team (Manchester United babeh!) just lost. (But thankfully, so did Chelsea. And hopefully, Liverpool, tomorrow.) Again. Suffering back-to-back losses. First time since...2005? Idk. I don't keep track of silly statistics like that.

My friend has been having a nagging sore throat for weeks.

Another friend is ill.

And, perhaps, having been hanging out with them both too much, I've caught the bug, which couldn't have been at a better time considering that I have a presentation on Monday and an assignment due on Wenesday. (For those who are still wondering, yes, I'm being sarcastic.)

Earlier in the week, I lost my Monash Student Diary. I'm still incredibly upset about it. Will someone please get me a new one. I'm begging.

My friend recently got a parking fine and lost his phone on the same day. Worst part—the phone ain't exactly his. (He and a friend, who is also my friend, exchanged phones.) Although, there may not necessarily be a losing end in this predicament. My friend would be somewhat glad that it isn't his own phone he had lost while my other friend, who is the one whose phone was actually lost, has been using a new phone, not my friend's phone (duh), even before my friend lost his phone. (Did I lose you? That was my intention.)

An-(completely different)-other friend but the same one I had afore mentioned about having a nagging sore throat, on the other hand, lost his wallet. Before that, his phone broke down. And before that, the windscreen of his car shattered. AND BEFORE THAT...nah...I'm kidding. Or at least I don't know anymore. But it's bad enough as it is.

Interestingly, I read a 2009 Chinese zodiac forecast (way before any of these misfortunes happened) which projected that Dragons and Snakes will suffer "unexpected financial losses". Heh. (It should be obvious that the reason why I mentioned the year of the Dragon and the Snake are because my friends were born in either one of those years. Myself included.)

That really sums up my week, doesn't it?

Light Off

Natasha Richardson
11/5/1963 – 18/3/2009

I'm deeply shocked and saddened by the news of her passing.
I find it strange myself that I'm mourning the death of someone I personally do not know. And to be honest, I have perhaps only caught two of her movies. One of which being 'The Parent Trap' and the other, I can't even recall. But it is 'The Parent Trap' that I would have the fondest memory of her. The fondest and sole memory, considering it is the only movie of hers that I can remember. Nonetheless, it was one of my favourite movies at that time, and in fact, it probably still is. The character she portrayed in that movie was a figure of poise and elegance and with a British accent to boot, I could not have been more in awe of her now than I was at the tender age of 10. Her grace, class and sophistication will how I'll forever remember her by.

UGH!

If I could, I'd choose to exterminate all the cockroaches and the lizards in the world.

They reduce me to tears.

Out of fear.

And I hate it!

I practically have a lil lizard living out of my desk...since yesterday.

I don't have the heart to kill it thus I gave it the benefit of the doubt that it would go away by today but it hasn't. So now I feel it's taking advantage of me.

And I am NOT happy.

*Update: Lil lizard was exterminated.

Dream

It's a great song save the element of the harmonica.
And her horrible haircut.
As my friend so aptly describes it,
"it's like she gave a pair of blunt scissors to a visually impaired friend".



I was a little girl
Alone in my little world
Who dreamed of a little home for me
I played pretend between the trees
And fed my house guests bark and leaves
And laughed in my pretty bed of green

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing
I had a dream

Long walks in the dark
Through woods grown behind the park
I asked God who I'm supposed to be
The stars smiled down on me
God answered in silent reverie
I said a prayer and fell asleep

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree
I had a dream

Now I'm old and feeling grey
I don't know what's left to say
About this life I'm willing to leave
I lived it full and I lived it well
There's many tales I've lived to tell
I'm ready now
I'm ready now
I'm ready now
To fly from the highest wing

I had a dream

Tickled

The first thing that made me laugh this morning was knowing that my mum now owns a pair of futsal shoes.

What made it funnier was the fact that I had picked it out for her.

In fairness, I had no idea those shoes were meant for futsal until she showed me this . How am I suppose to know la?! They looked like ordinary trainers! Well, least they are comfortable, right mummy dearest?

The second thing that made me laugh:
My mum asked me if I thought she had good dress sense. Before I even managed to reply, she was quick to answer "I think I dress very well. Don't you think so?".

My mother boasting her dress sense to me. In other words implying I have none.

The third thing that made me laugh:
Roz and I met up to do our income tax law homework today. On a public holiday. I'm still quite amazed by our accomplishment. In the midst of calculating figures...

Me: What's 98000 minus 70000?
Roz: 22000!

I probably shouldn't fail to add that my dear friend is an accounting and banking & finance major.

And finally the fourth:
I spotted this old toy lying in a basket among other junks. I picked it up and Zelda immediately showed interest. (It rattles!)

Me: Mama, can I give this to Zelda?
Mum: No.
Me: Why not? Who'd you buy it for then??
Mum: For myself.

I find my mother so hilarious sometimes.

The Plan Was Sound

"We all start every day and promise ourselves we're going to be better. The problem is in the execution."

Mr.A-Z

Because I'm learning to be a stalker...

Oh I'll make a fine paparazzi!

Mraz babeh!

=)

Poems Found in Singapore Toilets

A budding poet trying his best...
Here I lie in stinky vapor,
Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,
Shall I lie, or shall I linger,
Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...
Here I sit
Broken hearted
Tried to shit
But only farted

Someone who had a different experience wrote:
You’re lucky
You had your chance
I tried to fart,
And shit my pants!

Perhaps it’s true that people find inspiration in toilets.
I came here
To shit and stink
But all I do
Is sit and think

There are also people who come in for a different purpose…
Some come her to sit and think,
Some come here to shit and stink,
But I come here to scratch my balls,
And read the bullshit on the walls.

Toilet walls also double as job advertisement space…
Written high upon the wall:
If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire Department wants you.

Ministry of Environment advertisement:
We aim to please!
You aim too! Please.

On the inside of a toilet door:
Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire performance.

And finally, this should teach some a lesson…
Sign seen at a restaurant:
The hands that clean these toilets also make your food…please aim properly.

When You Could Really Do With A Laugh

Lost in Comprehension

To you & you

It's 4:05 in the morning and I can't sleep because of the conversation interrogation that took place two days ago. I'm only human and it will take me days or weeks perhaps before I get over it.

I am still embroiled in rage although I may not outwardly express it. The second part of your interrogation was absolutely uncalled-for and it threw me off guard. I was completely blind-sided and up to this point cannot fathom the reason for the need of both of you to question me that way.

To judge me on the few incidents you both were not accustomed to seeing was hurtful, to say the least. I still believe you both blew things entirely out of proportion and questioned my behaviour in the most inappropriate way.

Both of you put me in a vulnerable state and that was mean-spirited and unkind. I felt under attacked, disparaged and victimised. How could you both possibly do something like that and especially when one of you have been in the same position you just placed me in before??

Comprehension escapes me.

I could try and understand that you both did it with my best interest at heart, but the way things were carried out, your true intentions clearly did not show. God gave you both a brain each. So please, think before you speak. I know that both of you are smokers, but I don't believe the cloud of smoke that hovered around you both had anything to do with the incapability of your brains to function that day.

Pull off another stunt like this and I can assure you I would not let it slide so easily, nor would I be so forgiving. As a matter of fact, I am still awaiting an apology from one of you, and it had better be soon before my hostility towards you is aroused.

My patience is wearing thin and annoyance is starting to build up in me.

Yours truly,
J.

p/s: I trust you both to understand that my anger is beyond justified.

Filler #3

I've slept for more than 12 hours today which is fairly unusual as I rarely get more than 8 hours of sleep. And I've not stepped out of my room since waking...until now.

Needed to pee. Heh.

So I'm bored...can't you tell?

* * *

I'm slightly comforted by the fact there's still some civilisation left in this world.

When Peeping Tom Looked Up

I tagged along with my mum to Petaling Street last Saturday for the secondary purpose of taking pictures. Well, sole purpose was of course to accompany her although I think she hardly needed my company considering she was meeting up with her fellow friends to go beads hunting.

So it seems my mum has taken a sudden interest in jewellery making although she has to yet even learn how.

While she and her friends were busy submerging themselves into beads haven, I decided to go around pointing, shooting and unearthing hooks and corners of Petaling Street.

Sometimes we have to stoop down to have a little peep at things.

But don't forget to look up every now and then to see what lies above us.

Expressway 219

It was Tuesday
When we jaunt out of Pee Jay
With our luggages in toll
We were ready to roll

Excited at the prospect
of being in another state
Our spirits had grown
too big to deflate

Reaching Pee Dee
In the swiftest of time
That was expected
Since my driving skills are sublime

Sleeping at 4
Playing Shit Head and Taboo
Waking at noon
To go kart racing and splash in the pool

Wednesday came around
And we were none too please
When a little pebble brown
Shattered the windscreen which made us wheeze

Our road trip was shortened
But lives were spared
Bonds were strengthened
And memories were shared

Thankful to still be alive
to see the light of day
to see the dark of night
Thankful to still be alive
to cliché
and to write
And if I so should add
with much great delight

Suddenly I See

The post time could not have been more ironic.

* * *

I just experienced an epiphany.

It has dawned upon me that we can't be friends.

After all the time spent mulling over possibilities, it is all so clear now.

The light has made it impossible to ignore the manifestation of circumstances.

I should have listened to my little grey cells priorly.

It should have hit me sooner.

Because honestly,

we should have been friends first before we were almost lovers.

Perhaps time will come and blow things over.

But until that time arrives, I really can't be your friend.

It is just too unfair...

...on me.

ON A ROAD TRIP

:)

Ringtone 19

The title has absolutely nothing to do with this post. If it's anything at all, it's an inside joke. Heh.

This does not help my diet one bit but Budweiser sure makes a great single buddy.

However, friends like them make greater companions.
So what exactly do 3 single comrades do on February the 14th?

Compete against each other to see who can hold a row of 18 Mahjong tiles the longest.
Well, at least 2 of them did just that.

They never fail to entertain me with their silly antics.
♥ ♥ ♥

Filler #2

*Overdue Post:

Today will mark the end and beginning of many things.

For starters, my exam has ended, and that officially wraps up my summer course and signals the start of my liberty!

I'm gonna start going back on my diet. The I'm-on-a-diet-but-it-doesn't-really-exist one. Or I'm-on-a-diet-cause-my-mummy-says-I-need-to. Or the I'm-on-a-diet... Basically, I'M ON A DIET. I need to lose the fats and the nick name 'Rolly Polly' my mum has so "affectionately" given me, as well as, relinquish the title for having the biggest ass. Nope, not a title I'm too keen of holding on. So with that, it means no pasta, no fast food, no carbo, no junk food, no mamak, no pizza!

I might want to start writing those down on sticky notes and start pasting them all around my room as reminders.

I think I should also start cleaning up my room before my semester starts.

I need to start being more efficient and stop procrastinating.

p/s: Gawd...this post was so long overdue. I can't remember what I actually meant to write.

Back From The Dead

My brother has just returned from his trip to Bangkok.

I didn't even get a hug. Boo.

And typically, he bought me nothing. Pfft.

When did he even go to Bangkok??

I guess it's still status quo.

Chapter 46

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

* * *

As I read, glistening tears formed in my eyes, hovered for a moment before coursing down the sides of my cheeks like a stream of water. They accelerated as they fell, abiding by the law of gravity.

I was so moved by the end of that chapter, I quivered while I wept...in silence, before I slept.

I Just Wanted To Humour You

• I’m glad that I love you cause I really don’t have anyone else to give my love to.

• It would have been a sin far too obvious to commit. And yet, we did it anyway. Just to prove, that we are human.

• Thoughts flow out of me like a leaking faucet. Slow and dense; loud and clear. They scare me sometimes.

• They say greatness lies within us all. I say nothing lies beyond the facet of our lives but only greatness.

• I intentionally meant to not make sense.

• Just because you don’t get me doesn’t mean others do either. But I’m pretty sure I can find at least one person who does. Well, I was actually hoping that person would have been you.

• When dawn breaks, horizon falls.

• The sky dimmed, and your brain turned off.

• Dilly-dally-dawdle-day, I need to get a life and be less gay.

• But at least now I get to be the likes of Ralph Waldo Emerson and be quoted too.

"Woopee." *Sardonically*

Absent

I really want to be there for you all the time but I can't.

And I'm sorry.

The distances are too great to overcome.

But it doesn't mean I don't care, nor does it change anything between us.

Or at least...I hope it doesn't.

Forgive me, will you?

I'll try harder next time.

I promise.

The Swarthy Pot Who Keeps Calling Me Black

I swear to God, if YOU ever call me fat just one more time, I would f***ing take a knife and cut out all your bloody fats (and God knows YOU have more than me!) and shove them down your throat!

To everyone aside from my mother, stop calling me fat!

I know it already, God-f***ing-damn-it!

I don't need to be constantly reminded, thank you very much.

So just shut your trap and leave me alone!

Procrastination is Stealing All My Time!

The clock is ticking
The Gods are watching
I continued standing
hoping and praying
that time will stretch
and They will fetch
me an outstretch
hand

p/s: Blogging too...heh.

So I Got Sold

She was going out to sea for 4 days. De facto, for a vacation aboard the Royal Caribbean.

In her absence, I had my share of fun. I didn't see why I should be deprived of it considering it was the dawn of a Chinese new year and the mood for a festive spirit beckoned. The "PA", I am sure, on the Q.T., also relished the freedom that seemed to have bestowed on her as she stole away into the night, had "friendly" drinks and criminal conversation. Acts of loose morals only she, the lowest of the low, could assent. So it had seemed manifestly unjust, hypocritical even, that she was passing off judgement on me.

I was perhaps a tad unlucky that one night when I had come home, not by choice, a little less than sober. It was of ill-fated time that my friends should choose to drop me home while the "PA" was still on her "date". What an untimely fate, that was.

Now, I also caught wind that a certain nullius filius had blabbed to the "PA" about how I was unable to keep a grip on myself—something I do not appreciate, especially coming from an idiota I had only just met that night. It was upon that hearsay did the "PA" decide to conclude on the fact that my blood alcohol content was probably bordering on lethal. Furthermore, I had apparently, in her eyes, staggered my way into the house. I am perplexed as to whether she had hallucinated that scene or was she maybe, on drugs that night.

It never occurred to me that I should have sat her down and told her to be hush-hush on that night's incident. I guess I was naive to think that she would be on my side, that she would be my ally, that she would cover up for me. But oh, how wrong I was.

My mum finally arrived home last Saturday. I was in my room when I heard the unlatching of the gates and the sound of the car pulling into the porch. The voice of her calling out to her 'babies' soon followed. My heart skipped a beat as I went down to greet her with open arms but my joy proved short-lived. "I'm very angry with you" were her first spoken words. I knew too well that the "PA" had sold me out. To avoid a chastisement, I retreated to my room, feeling despondent. But that didn't stop my mum from dragging me over the coals.

I was infuriated that the "PA" had told on me. But more than anything else, I was upset because I couldn't find any reason for her doing so. It may peradventure be thought that she might have done it out of spite because I had cut short her date that night. Although, that intent does seem a little too malicious and it would be far too cynical of me to even suggest that of her. Nevertheless, she had robbed me of my mother's affection and that was just utterly selfish of her. But of course, I don't expect her to fathom how I feel. Certainly not someone of her status and with such an inherently selfish nature, it would have been too optimistic of me to expect her to understand. Hence, I saved myself from lambasting her as I knew it would be a waste of my energy and saliva. In any case, I figured my Malay just isn't good enough to berate her, let alone anyone for that matter.

So here I am, feeling no more better than I was at the beginning of this post, with a burning question still in mind.

Was it really necessary of her?

Because We Wanted To

Cold Storage | Hgrdn | Crlsbrg Gld | 1 of each | OU rooftop | Cum Jolt Café | Futsal match | Centerpoint | McD's | Big Mac | 1 box | 10 each | Man U. 1–0 Everton | Apple Pie | French Fries (M)

And somewhere between all that
and our conversation,
the night grew old
and our minds tired;
but the stars still shone bright
and I went home with a smile.

Unsatisfied

I think I still hold a justified amount of resentment towards you.

There was never closure between us.

And at this point, I'm not sure if I want it.

Though I feel I need it.

But I won't ask for it.

So why don't you just give it?

p/s: How could you possibly forgive yourself when I haven't forgiven you?

I Will Follow YOU Into The Dark

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark

Death Cab for Cutie - I Will Follow You Into The Dark

Begging for a Bag

I'm in a very foul mood and I just feel like lashing out at somebody.

Will someone be my punching bag?

I'm begging.

Nothing Personal

I "feel" I'm a lil too sarcastic for my own good sometimes...and I'm sorry to those who find themselves at the receiving end of my sarcastic remarks.

Although, I'm pretty sure you gave me reason to be sarcastic in the first place.

Heh.

Human

I don't think I could consider someone who places the importance of his/her dog (pet) before his/her friends a friend.

Could you?

I Got The Blues

The last thing you'd want after a full meal is to have to eat your own words.

A day after I write that I will not be updating much, I go on and publish three posts (including this). Not that the previous two can be considered proper posts, but still, updates nonetheless.

There is no real objective in this post other than to try and explain my current emotions to myself. It has been a rather solemn week. (I'm really writing just for therapeutic reasons.) I'm not one to take departures easily, hence I feel overwhelmed by a sense of void. I listen to songs that I shouldn't be listening to, knowingly they would only amplify my current state of emotions.

As an aspiring writer, I'm dismayed that I'm unable to describe what I'm feeling. And my limited vocabulary isn't helping either. I want to understand the way I feel but I can't get my head around it. Most of the time I just feel glum when I really don't want to be, but I can't help feeling the way I do. That's probably the reason why I often find myself craving for a fix of alcohol lately. Although, I really ought to be more sensible, cause as much as alcohol makes a wonderful servant, it can be quite a cruel master.

p/s: Consoling oneself with emo songs is formula for a bleeding heart.

Word Up!

This is so neat!

p/s: I'm aware I said that I'd be busy, but......blah!

Breaking The Fourth Wall

My brother asked for my opinion last night on whether I thought the collar of his shirt looked too big.

"A bit la," I replied.

Now that's what I call a breakthrough in communication.

Filler #1

Save to say you won't be expecting any updates from me for a while cause I'm busy wrapping up my summer course and the rest of the time that I have for myself, I need to spend it recuperating.

My past three weeks have been nothing short of fun. I visited three states within the span of a week. I had more alcohol to drink within those three weeks than I had in the whole of 2008. I learned that it is possible to get drunk on beer. I also learned that I'm much better at Taboo when I'm a sheet in the wind's eye. I found kinship with an alcohol called Jägermeister which seems probable of overthrowing my current master, Vodka. And well, the fatigue of the past three weeks has finally caught up with me. Lately, I awake every day only to be greeted by Lethargy. It could be a symptom of some sort of disease but I'm no hypochondriac, so I won't be probing into that any further. Or perhaps, I'm just getting old. You'll know that age isn't just a number when you start to feel it. Heh.

Anyway, Procrastination is proving to be a tough foe to fight off and is once again winning most of the battles. Although I must say, they have mostly been rather one-sided. The deadline for my final report is next Wednesday, and I cannot allow Procrastination to hold me up any longer. I will march onto the battlefield, with guns blazing, and take Procrastination head on! *RAWR!* This might get ugly.

사랑해

Yoboseyo | Juju | Sarang hae mahn ee mahn ee | Always & forever | Mad farny yo! | Slut! | Oh Tiff... | Can't spell slut without U! | "I guess." | Can't spell awesome without ME! | Agiya | "Before it's on the radio, it's on AOL." | "Cool down, down, don't act a fool now, now." I always act a fool oww oww. Ain't nothing new now now. | "AOL Music, first listen." | Jagiya | "Yes." | Boys call you sexy (What's up, sexy) | "Music on demand." | A red one...konvict...GaGa. | Teh kok tek | You're damn terrible. | Coolios. | Imma | Po Lakshmanan | Somethin' somethin' somethin', 'Stack That Cheese'. Mother, sister, cousin, 'Stack That Cheese'. He couldn't think of nothin', 'Stack That Cheese'. | New Folder | "I'm the blower, you're the catcher." | Peace out, home slice! | Nado sarang hae mahn ee mahn ee | Forever & always

Your whining, your complaining, your narcissism, your bimboness, your niggerness, I miss it all.
But mostly, I miss you.
It will be soon before long till I see you again, I hope.
Love always,
Juju

The Itinerary

Now: Pack my bag

3pm: Bus leaves for Penang

Saturday, 3 January:
Eat my heart out

Sunday, 4 January:
Board a ferry to Langkawi

Monday, 5 January:
Sun, soak & tan!

Tuesday, 6 Jarnuary:
Board the earliest ferry out of Langkawi

5pm: Head back to KL

Till then,

xoxo!