Tuesday, February 03, 2009

So I Got Sold

She was going out to sea for 4 days. De facto, for a vacation aboard the Royal Caribbean.

In her absence, I had my share of fun. I didn't see why I should be deprived of it considering it was the dawn of a Chinese new year and the mood for a festive spirit beckoned. The "PA", I am sure, on the Q.T., also relished the freedom that seemed to have bestowed on her as she stole away into the night, had "friendly" drinks and criminal conversation. Acts of loose morals only she, the lowest of the low, could assent. So it had seemed manifestly unjust, hypocritical even, that she was passing off judgement on me.

I was perhaps a tad unlucky that one night when I had come home, not by choice, a little less than sober. It was of ill-fated time that my friends should choose to drop me home while the "PA" was still on her "date". What an untimely fate, that was.

Now, I also caught wind that a certain nullius filius had blabbed to the "PA" about how I was unable to keep a grip on myself—something I do not appreciate, especially coming from an idiota I had only just met that night. It was upon that hearsay did the "PA" decide to conclude on the fact that my blood alcohol content was probably bordering on lethal. Furthermore, I had apparently, in her eyes, staggered my way into the house. I am perplexed as to whether she had hallucinated that scene or was she maybe, on drugs that night.

It never occurred to me that I should have sat her down and told her to be hush-hush on that night's incident. I guess I was naive to think that she would be on my side, that she would be my ally, that she would cover up for me. But oh, how wrong I was.

My mum finally arrived home last Saturday. I was in my room when I heard the unlatching of the gates and the sound of the car pulling into the porch. The voice of her calling out to her 'babies' soon followed. My heart skipped a beat as I went down to greet her with open arms but my joy proved short-lived. "I'm very angry with you" were her first spoken words. I knew too well that the "PA" had sold me out. To avoid a chastisement, I retreated to my room, feeling despondent. But that didn't stop my mum from dragging me over the coals.

I was infuriated that the "PA" had told on me. But more than anything else, I was upset because I couldn't find any reason for her doing so. It may peradventure be thought that she might have done it out of spite because I had cut short her date that night. Although, that intent does seem a little too malicious and it would be far too cynical of me to even suggest that of her. Nevertheless, she had robbed me of my mother's affection and that was just utterly selfish of her. But of course, I don't expect her to fathom how I feel. Certainly not someone of her status and with such an inherently selfish nature, it would have been too optimistic of me to expect her to understand. Hence, I saved myself from lambasting her as I knew it would be a waste of my energy and saliva. In any case, I figured my Malay just isn't good enough to berate her, let alone anyone for that matter.

So here I am, feeling no more better than I was at the beginning of this post, with a burning question still in mind.

Was it really necessary of her?

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