Saturday, May 29, 2010

Yummy vs. Crummy

There's something really sexy about...
Bruno Mars

Sex appeal, some people have it, while some
...just don't.
David Schwimmer

David Schwimmer-ish kind of guys are always going to be the 'Mr. Nice Guys', the "you're too sweet" guys, the ones girls will always like, and eventually fall for when showered with a generous amount of attention but easily get over, because they realise there never really was an attraction, but merely just an affection.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Dreaming a Life | Living a Dream

Was it all just a dream within a dream?

Or was I simply living out a dream believing it's a reality I want.

Do I really want it?

Or do I only want it cause I like the idea of it?

Either way, it'll still be a reality far better than the one I am currently living.

I think.

I feel.


Who knows.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all
~Joni Mitchell

*** ***

I won't lie. I do miss it. Life in the States. Having had a taste of the American Dream, I now crave for it. I want to imagine it. I want to feel it. I want to live it. Every day.

It's funny how perceptions on life are ever changing throughout the course of one's life. I almost thought I found my purpose in life (this is a lie), what I wanted to do, what I wanted to be; but once again, I'm thrown into disarray. Scratching at my head, pulling at my hair, I feel more lost than ever.

I envy 'Them'. 'Them' who already have their career planned out, their whole life plan mapped out...on paper, or a napkin; whichever, I don't care. 'Them' so focused on their objectives. 'Them' so set on their life goals. 'Them' 'Them'.

It's depressing at the same time demoralising. Having stepped into adulthood, I cannot help but feel a sense of failure; the failure to achieve anything substantial in the past 21 years of my life. With another God-knows-how-long to live out, I want to live my life feeling a sense of accomplishment. The feeling of giving my best and succeeding. The feeling of knowing what 'gratification' and 'satisfaction' truly mean. I want to live a life I can look back on with no regrets.

I want to know I have lived.

*** ***

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will."
~Chuck Palahniuk

Friday, May 21, 2010


Cloudless blue skies
Cloudy grey ones
Yellow cabs
Red and white taxis
5am sun rise
7am sun rise
9pm sun set
7pm sun set
Cool breeze
Hot air
My baby Maddy
My stinky dogs
Beer pong
Soft drinks
Halal food
Mamak food

I'm re-readjusting.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Home Sweet Home

Guess who's back.

I touched down at 7.47am yesterday.

I feel numb. Currently.

The time is 5.43am.

But I don't believe that's the reason.

I'm trying to make my sentences as incoherent as possible.

5 months of non-writing does that to you.

Once in a blue moon postings do not help either.

I think I have succeeded. Writing incoherently, that is.

Getting behind the wheel after 5 months felt great.

Getting cock stared for beating an incompetent driver to a parking lot also felt great.

Yes, I am home sweet home.