NOT a Rant

You know what I don't get? People who write a rant but then fail cause their grammar is all over the place, hence the rant falling apart and whatever point they were trying to make becomes invalid. If you're one of them, yes, YOU FAIL.

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Funny how I would always dream about what my college days will be like when I was in high school, and what my working days will be like when I was in college, and what my future will be like...well, all the time. Yes, a girl daydreams a lot but the reality never quite turns out the same. Or maybe not yet. Career wise at least. Ah ha, this little girl ain't so little anymore. Who'd have thought this day would come, earning my own money and living on my own. Okay. Not quite. I still live with my mum but that really ain't so bad, especially when you're getting paid peanuts. Sometimes, I even wished I literally am. No I kid. Alas, the beginning of everything is always painstaking. This raring urge to climb the corporate ladder as fast as I can is becoming harder to quell. Yes, I've become more kiasu than ever and it's not even about working late. It's about working extra and producing more than that's expected of me. The whole work life balance is still pretty manageable for now but everyone has different priorities in life, and mine right now, is my career. So apologies if I always choose my work first before anything else, because I will.

Life's too short to do too little and not long enough to do too much. So we just do.

Peace.

Always & Forever ♡

A picture's worth a thousand words;
but a greeting card, a thousand more.

ツ

Am I Ready?

I don't know.

Are you?

Big leaps, big risks. With no safety net, a misstep would be more than just a blunder. It'd be a huge fall and a huge fall would leave more than just a bruise.

But you can't get up if you've not fallen. You couldn't have walked without first crawling. You wouldn't be here if you knew where you should be.

You can't always be prepared.

You can't always be ready.

There is no crystal ball for you to peek into the future.

You just got to pick up the cards you've been dealt with and make the best hand out of them.

Sometimes, it's not about making the right decision or the wrong decision.

It's simply just making one.

Because it's in the making of the decision that you learn you were ready.

...While Sipping on Wine

What would you write about at this hour?

Blank slate. Blank mind.

Background music. Background noise.

I forget I can write. Better than most. Most that I know. Clearly not mixing with the "write" crowd.

Pressure. Low. High. None. Do you feel it? Not what I seek. Not what I need. Fear, on the other hand, can drive one to do the unimaginable. The unthinkable. The never thought possible, but achievable.

I'm a realist. An imaginist. A dreamer only when I'm asleep.

Because realists know better and dreamers only hope for better.

The real world awaits, with a plateful of politics and sour grapes.

The meeting of real people. The unfazed and the two-faced. The sincere and the queer. The rich and the bitch.

My nouveau chapitre begins now. And I will wait no more.

To be published. To be heard. Not be rubbished or be stirred.

This is my book. My story. My life.

So read between the lines...

Rmbr Rmbr

10.10.10
A day that happens once a millennium should not be lived like every other day.

It’s a day to meet new friends
It’s a day to make amends
It’s a day to be grateful
A day to appreciate to the full
It’s a day to reflect
It’s a day to recollect
A day to romanticize
A day to fantasize
So make this day momentous
Make it bodacious
Make it anything unlike today.

That, I must remember.

Red Balloon FTW!

'My something and something something something unhappy birthday.'
That's about how much Spanish I know.
But who cares what it says,
it's a RED BALLOON!

And btw,
HAPPY 10.10.10!

I Don't Run

No.

I was wrong.

I binge.

I hate my life.

Greener. Blacker. Whatever.

Every time I get this feeling of loneliness, I want to bolt. Run. Escape. To somewhere else, to some place far, to somewhere I feel I belong. A place where solitude doesn't exist and desolation is just a state of mind. A place where the lights shine brighter than the street lights of New York City. A place where dreams don't just seem possible but are.

We often say we can't help the way we feel but maybe we are fools to believe that. The moment we lose control of our feelings, they get the better of us and we become overwhelmed. Quite like standing on the beach when the waves come crashing in. Or in a room of a deserted, dilapidated building and the ceiling comes crashing down. Or in the middle of NYSE's traders floor and watching all the stocks go crashing.

Life's like that. More often than not, we get jumped when we turn a corner, we are caught off guard, unprepared to face the unexpected that's thrown at us. In a moment of panic, we do whatever our unconsciousness triggers us to do. A reflex. An impulse. A defence mechanism. Some cry. Some binge. Some commit suicide. I cut and run.

But maybe, it's about time to stop running from the unnerving and the awkward, stop thinking this unfamiliar feeling is familiar, stop pretending this lonesomeness is okay. Because only I know that it isn't. And only I know I can do something about it. And that is...

TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE and over to the other side.

Because it IS greener. Blacker. Whatever.